california mind... washington body

suhdillyah:

I performed this piece about sex at UCLA’s QPC 2009.

This past weekend was amazing. Thank you to everyone that allowed me to share their experience and knowledge. Y’all are beautiful.

—-

I’d like to reclaim the phrase, “Hookin’ up”.
Since when did hookin’ up mean fuckin’ up?
Because the only fuckin’ up I see…
Is how my people aren’t allowed to fuck!

Now, don’t get me wrong!
Not every person down on their knees
Is a praying saint
Holding a rosary in their hands.

But, on the real:
People need to hook up tonight!
People NEED to have sex tonight!
No, seriously!
If you can have healthy sex
That is positive and refreshing…
Then why NOT give a fuck tonight?!
If you’re feeling it…
And your heart is beating between your thighs.
Then, I say…go for it!

But, I hear you.
Not all sex is divine.

Some people use sex as a weapon.
Tucked in their backpocket,
A switchblade tipped with lust.
Give them an inch,
And they’ll cut your heart a mile deep.

They’re looking to add that notch
To their left bed post.

You know who I’m talking about!
The people that ruin hookin’ up for the rest of us.
The people that collect gentle hands,
Soft kisses, strong arms, and mending hearts,
And place such fragile things…
On their shelves and bookcases.
They seal love away in trophy cases
Far too high for us to touch.

Or, maybe,
They’re your peers!
Snickering at the fact you “hooked up”!
Judging you because you “got some”!
When in fact…
Maybe they’re snickering because they
Haven’t gotten any in a while.

This begs the question:

How do you hook up…?
Without feeling like your conscience took a backseat?

…Well, that’s just asking, “Why do you have sex?”

See, for me…
Sex…is an art.
Both in its technique and its inspiration.
The harmony between hand and skin.
Eye to eye. Lip…to lip.
Your body…
A breathing canvas for me to paint my own starry night.
You wear acrylic as lipstick
And bleed tempera from your fingertips.
And until early morning
We fingerpaint murals on each other.
From childhood secrets tagged on your forearms,
To adult desires smeared across your hips.
Your curves are my muse!
They beg me to chisel your chest with my tongue!

And you?
Go ahead: I’m yours tonight.
I surrender to your artistic talent:
The way you pull my hair, brush me off,
Tie me up and turn my back into Pollack’s next masterpiece.
I want you to go abstract expressionist on me!

So…tell me then!
Why can’t I hook up with other people?
Not only for the sake of physical pleasure…
But, also for the sake of maybe…
Just maybe…
I can make someone else feel beautiful too.

Listen: I know it’s tough.
Plenty of people out there tell you that your body is contraband.
A drug taken only in the bedroom.
A high with dirty consequences.

That inbetween the sheets…
You are to keep your desires as mere pipe dreams surging beneath the bed.

I know it’s hard.
But, if you let me, I’d like to tell you something.

Sex…is an affirmation.
You know when you go on retreats,
And you get those strips of paper that say,
“You are amazing. How did I ever live my life without you?”

Yeah. That’s sex.
But, instead of paper, take those words…
And write it on my chest.
Tattooed in blood and sweat.
Rip open my shirt and read:

Before you take a bite of my skin…

Recognize this: You are beautiful.
And not the kind of beautiful that drives great poets insane.
Or the kind of beautiful that haunts the dreams of proud composers.
No. Your beauty is humble and kind.
Your beauty needs not speak words,
For it glows around you.
Softly breathing like embers hidden deep beneath the desert’s sands.
This beauty—it requires no explanation.
It is natural, bare, and divine.

Let our bodies be our temple.

Then clothes come off.
Desire is slipped on.
Originality is unbuttoned.
Your attitude wrapped around your knees.
You wear strength around your neck to keep your warm.
Let me see you striptease that style.

And the night slowly burns away…
Until all that is left…
Is the vapor of our passions.

So…
Hookin’ up.
Fuckin’.
One night stands.
Making love.
Interlocked hands.
Physical affirmations.
Having SEX!

How about you and me…
How about we…do something tonight?

When I heard this live… I was inspired…I was also hot and bothered… Amazing.

i miss you guys sorely…

i hope you all find the strength to get through these tough times.

i know that i had some pretty depressing times.  really.  and there were many times where i just wanted to give up all hope.

but i hope you all understand that you guys have each other.  that’s where i found my strength.  in you guys.

i hope you guys understand that and find what i found to pull through.

life’s too short to pinpoint and blow up flaws that we all have.

love.